About Me

I have a thing for new beginnings and fresh starts.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Once in awhile I will be gently prodded by some vague need to document where I'm at. Sometimes it's how I feel in the moment and other times it's about how that moment connects to a bigger picture. Over the past several years, I've sought out various opportunities. Some of these chances were vain and lazy; others required me to set myself aside and push myself beyond what I'd formerly thought was possible.

In the past several years I:
  • Lost my Nonna to cancer
  • Moved to NYC
  • Cried about the way I looked.
  • Remodeled my Grandmother's apartment
  • Had my application rejected twice, in my humble opinion, the most grassroots Labor Organization in US and Canada.
  • Got hired by, in my humble opinion, the most grassroots Labor Organization in US and Canada
  • Lost and Gained probably 1,000 pounds in weight fluctuations
  • Grew my hair long
  • Had a tooth rot due to a three year lapse in health care coverage
  • Banged down the door of my boss's basement office with five of my coworkers, who barely spoke English, demanding to get our first paycheck in over a month
  • I walked away from my Full Time, $20-25 dollar an hour bartending job
  • Went for over a month without calling my mother
  • Endured one of the most righteously indignant mommy-guilt-trips over going over a month without calling her
  • Vacated NY to return to my childhood home
  • Cried due to the weather
  • Left my family and the continental U.S
  • Had a door slammed in my face
  • Been welcomed into a strangers' living room/kitchen/porch
  • Won someone their job back
  • Worked 10 hour days every weekday on salary.
  • Gardened
  • Rescued two ferral kittens
  • Watched Seasons 1-7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • Cried due to stress
  • Nursed a sick rat with a belly tumor the size of a small apple.
  • Laughed at my partner, not with... at
  • Started smiling at babies
  • Had a whole conversation about I Love New York 2 Reality Dating
  • Appreciated my solid support network
  • Taken my solid support network for granted
  • Tried over thirty different shampoos and conditioners
  • Put my fat clothes in the basement
  • Retrieved my fat clothes from the basement
  • Bought a fish
  • Pulled up a carpet
  • Made a split second decision and was right.
  • Carefully planned out a decision and was wrong
  • Made a new friend
  • Cried over being tired
  • Got a clean bill of health from a dentist, kootch doctor and a general practicioner
  • Kept food journals
  • Gave my brother a hard time because he was making me worry
  • Gave my father a hard time because he was making me worry
  • Gave my mother a hard time because she was making me worry
  • Yelled at my mother for being the worst of me.
These are in no apparent order, but going through them and taking the moment to bring it all back shows me growth. Personal progress has always been a priority. Over the years my personal progress evolved from a place of selfishness to a place of comfort and willingness to lend myself to the personal progress of other people.

IN a way, owning leadership could be read as condescension. No one likes a know-it-all and I don't like people who are proud of knowing nothing, of accomplishing nothing, of contributing nothing that benefits someone other than themselves. A person is moved by self interest, and we've at the same time been somehow convinced that our own self interest is somehow separate from one anothers'. With ambition and compassion, people cooperate and solve plaguing social problems.

In addition to voting on election day, we're charged to take leadership. To inspire, educate and mobilize not only ourselves but also each other. Without personal empowerment and collective action our country is in danger and will fail. When I refer to our Country I'm talking about Americans. By Americans, I mean any person living and working in this country. When I talk about leadership I mean leaving your mark on more than just your mother who's required to love you.

Bed time.


samflutch said...

There’s no point arguing with any of that because it’s all true.Eva Longoria is just fat. So fat that she’s got her own postcode. So fat that if you try to kiss her your face burns off on re-entry.

Nic said...

Eva Longoria can feel free to get fatter, if she'd like.

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