Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Day 1260- Becoming a Yoga Teacher
Sometimes, I manage to forget how quickly time passes. I'm not going to reset the counter on my weight loss journey; all of this was part of the process that led me here. Although I am going to ditch the name Fat Blog.
It's occurred to me that the original mission statement of this blog was "follow me in the vain and ultimately unattainable pursuit of life, skinniness and endless sarcasm."
I graduated from yoga teacher training (TT) , my eleven year relationship ended, I applied to the Peace Corps and am considering medical school or physical therapy.
For my entire life, I've struggled with disordered eating and body image. It became obvious to me as I read my hundred of previous posts that I was a very sick person.
I viewed myself as pass or fail, good or bad, under calorie goal or over. Not disclosed in my posts were that I was a binge and purge bulimic. At my highest weight, 190, I was unhappy and sure that if I reached 140 I'd be happy. At 140, I was unhappy and sure that if I achieved definition in my abs I'd be happy.
I deleted them. All of them.
Today I am happy and I'll eventually forget how much I weigh today. The change I made was internal. In August 2009, I started volunteering at a yoga studio near my home. Yoga gave me an awareness of myself that I'd never experienced. Even in my most rigid and inflexible mental state, Yoga managed to move me.
Adventure happens when things stop going as planned. Let's see how this goes.